Monday, August 31, 2009


School has begun. This blows big time. "Hairy non-rounded balls". We have returned as sophomores. LOL.. oh dear shit.

My schedule thus far:
Chemistry 1A (Lecture) Monday, Wednesday 9:15AM-10:40 AM Hwang
English 1C Monday, Wednesday 12:15 PM-1:40PM Hahn
Chemistry 1A (Lab) Monday, Wednesday 2:00PM-5:05PM Brown
Basically, school from 9am to 5pm on Mondays and Wednesdays. T_____________T

Oral Communications(waitlisted) Tuesday, Thursday 1:45PM-3:10PM Rowe
Basketball(waitlisted) Tuesday, Thursday 12:15PM-1:40PM
Ethnic Studies Thursdays 6:00PM-9:15PM Lujan

So my math class got totally cancelled and now my schedule is fucked and my whole educational plan cause now I'll be a semester behind on math.. So I'm trying to get into comms since it's another class I'd have to take anyway along the line but if I can't get into it then Basketball is my plan B in order to be full time -__-

First day of Chem and we already reviewed FOUR frigging chapters. Two hour lecture and 3 hour lab.. I have a feeling in my gut that this class is going to drain away my life. ): IF ANYONE HAS TAKEN 1A BEFORE PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN ANNOY YOU. oh well.. At least I have all of my classes with Amber, minus one (the math class we were supposed to take) instead she's trying to get in poly sci and me comms. I can go ahead and take calculus but I told my counselor HELL NO I need REVIEW! So she told me to take that class but now it's fucking dead and gone due to the lame budget cuts. ): But I'm too scared shitless to take calc now. Sigh.

Friday, August 21, 2009

I'm privileged.

Because I have a loving family that cares about my well-being and happiness more than most of many things in the world. Because I have a grandmother that loves me most out of all her grandchildren. Because I have a mother that works her tiny butt off day after day to make sure her children gets the best that she can give on her average pay (while my dad bums around). Looking at my family from afar, you can see that we're not exactly what you can call well off. We barely scrape to be on the defining line of what is considered to be "the middle class", but the most important aspect and value that I was taught growing up is the importance of family. Of course every, or most, families would stress this value but seldom remain as close over the years. Money is indeed a crucial factor in current times especially with the standard of living increased to staggering proportions, yet we always seem to get by just fine. Although we fight and scream at each other every single day, my momma loves me more than ERIC HAHA jk but yeah. I love her. And gamma! (when shes not pmsing)

My best friend, who has been there through these past 5-6 years for me. Through my highschool sweeet heaaarted years. My partying year. My black hole ditch of a year. My BITCH ass co-worker. My college classmate for every single damn class. My lab partner. My enemy during Chemistry. My GPS. I love her forever and ever and ever and a day. Though we have our own lives to attend to, I know for sure that we'll never grow apart even as we grow separately. No one and especially no guy or anyone can replace you (on my top 8) LOL just kidding. I fucking love you.

My best friend numbero dos. Stevie if you're reading this I didn't forget about you. And um. Yeah, that's it.


A boyfriend who, most times, doesn't know what to do with me. He has no clue, no possible idea how to handle me and yet he still tries. He loves me despite the bitch tantrums and bad words I yell at him to shoo him away and leave me alone because I think I'm better off that way, yet still, there he is knocking on my window, at 5 in the morning. Because he is the most immature, little, most baby-mindstated boy out of anyone I've ever met. His love, unconditional. His bites, painful. We are both always broke all the time but he KEEPS ASKING ME TO BUY HIM HIS STUPID VALVE COVER. Which I am totally not going to buy you Henry. My wallet is an empty hole every time he's around, but I guess I wouldn't be happy if it was full and without him anyway. (thats why I always have money when I'm not around Henry.. I save.. like a mofo.. THEN BAM goodbye.)

Wonderful wonderful, friends that surround my daily life. I would be super bored (and nicotine free) without you guyssssssszszszsz. cough cough. :D

I don't know why the emo blog earlier. But this is my list to read to keep from falling into a ditch.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


I feel. Empty.

The end.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


I think I'm going through a mid life crisis at the age of 19. (:

I guess thought I could do it. Live with this crap lingering and re-occuring over and over hanging over my head. Guess I'm not as strong as I thought. Guess I overestimated myself. It's just getting worse. Usually when something bothers me or causes unwanted emotions to arise, I let it go immediately and forget about it forever. I held onto this one for too long. It's making me nuts in the head and it's not even my fault. And if it was I'd suffer willingly for it.

Thought I always had my friends but they seem to be busy with their own business, so I guess I'll just stay at home most of the time. Family is always first but this family just stresses me out to no end. At least Eric will always be around to entertain even though he doesn't really know anything. LOL. And of course there's my computer and television. Thank goodness.

Finding work proves to be difficult. There's always Milpitas but I dread the thought of driving there and back everyday.. sigh.

Having a love life is more difficult than uplifting.

There's always school. Something that my mother stresses about the most. Figure I'll just do it to make her happy. Figure I'll let this rule my life for now.

Yeah. You can see I'm not in a very dandy mood right now haha. I also figure I'm never going to sell my shit hole car. I'll just pray for someone to hit me and total my car so I can get the money from it. LOL.

I'll let you go forever soon, and when I do you'll be able to do whatever you want. You say that being around me is what you want yet you don't think of the repercussions that come up for me if stay. I guess when it comes down to it, no one wants to admit but you can't have both. It's either one or the other. Maybe the circumstances would have been different if you did things differently in the past, but you can't change that now. And I need to stop living in the past, the only way to stop is to let you go. Otherwise you'd be unhappy for the rest of your life and so would I. And that ladies and gentlemen, is the theory of evolution. HAHA

Trinnnnnnnnnh Phanigga.

Monday, August 3, 2009


I hate how things never stay the same and people either leave, change, or forget about you. I hate that friends are disposable. jfdksal;jdksla;j

On a lighter note, this is how my fucked up hair has turned out.

I hate the blonde spots.
But I do like how it looks a like a mullet, don't you think?

Anyways about our anniversary July 31st:

Hung out with Gabe until say 12:06ishAM got a call from Henry crying that I still wasn't at his house and he had expected me to show up at 12 am on the dot. laughed at him. showed up at 2am LOL. Went to sleep and woke up around 2 PM .. ATE SUSHI! [: Just at some "ninja sushi" place that I always pointed out in Gilroy. It was quite expensive but pretty delicious.

With happy tummies we proceeded to Great Mall where we were going to return henry's pants that I bought for him awhile ago (that he thought were not SKINNY ENOUGH -_-) Got to zumiez, got a gift card in return for the pants, henry started trying on pants and glasses and shit. And he wanted to buy these two sunglasses for us to match with or something.. Walked into the dressing room with it and he was like oh wanna jack them? And I was like, alright I guess dropped them in the bag walked out didn't expect ANYTHING to happen lol lol but the zumiez guy was watching us i guess and he asked me if I was gonna pay for those glasses in my bag. AHAHA. Nah he was cool though I just said sorry that it was a stupid idea and my gay boyfriend was still in the dressing room with his head sticking out trying to wave us over but the guy said we had to leave and Henry just kept standing over there leaving me and the guy by ourselves in an awkward silence... until finally he decides to come over and we leave the store.

Onto another zumiez where we bought two pairs of pants for him.. and jacked another pair of glasses. LOL Henry got a shitload of zumies stickers for screaming I LOVE ZUMIEZ out into the mall. God we're such petty thieves [:

Got lost a couple times in transition to finding great mall and valley fair and going everywhere... VERY ANNOYED during traffic. Henry was being a douche bag too, made me cry a little but I am on my rag, so it's probably hormonal. lol. but still.. FUCK I HATE BEING IN TRAFFIC WITH HIM! He gets so irritated and takes all of it out on me.. what the fuck.

Anyways, to Santana Row to watch 500 days of summer together, even though he's seen it already -_- Had an hour before the movie so went into Urban Outfitters where I bought some new clothes and tights.. or Henry bought them for me, rather. And got another pair of sunglasses. So, with new clothing and sunglasses, we walked hand in hand into the theatre and that was the end of it. Got out when it was like.. 11:50 something so the end, happy anniversary babeskies. We did play beerpong later at a friends house, kinda reminscing on how we first met LOL.

Yeah pretty interesting day, especially funny how we got caught together ahaha something I should add onto another page of the book (I made him a scrapbook thing with particular events of significance since we've met for our anni) I think my favorite page is the one where there's stickers of san francisco and mexico and it says string cheese (which you probably dont get) but it refers to the day where we were on top of twin peaks eating string cheese and getting jumped by a bunch of beaners. LOL henry is a stick figure on the ground with x for eyes. wahah.

I love you babygirl. Thank you for not letting me leave while knowing that I really don't want to, even when I am a total bitch to you and I hurt your feelings and I'm stubborn as fuck and yet you still want me to stay, and you force me to stay. haha.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


anniversary today. twas quite interesante. perhaps i shall update moar laters.